In Small Measure

Devotional for Friday, August 21, 1998 by Kimberley Dubard

I received the following poem from a good friend and was amazed at how accurately the author portrayed the struggle we all go through in turning everything over to the Lord. God is so good and we say we know that, but at times we either forget it or fail to realize it fully; especially when it comes to making decisions in our life. It is hard, when we've been out in this world for a while, to fully give up control or give complete trust to anyone. Most of us base the degree of trust we'll place in God initially on our past experiences with other people. It's difficult to believe in a perfect Father, brother, friend, teacher when your experiences have been negative. But He is faithful and tenacious to the end, and (let us not forget) patient. What I've found is that it's okay if I can't give Him big heaping spoonfuls of me; He is willing to accept me in small measures. He walks me slowly through my fears, uncovering and facing each one, and in doing, so proving Himself oh! so worthy of my love and trust. Truly, He is able to mend a broken heart, given all the pieces; even if they're given one at a time with trembling hand.

In Small Measure

I have been learning in small degree
And all too limited measure
The giving of myself to God
The passing of the deed to every interest and plan
The surrender of even my perceived power and control
My one lament is that it has taken me this long
To really begin the process

I am used to trusting my wisdom
My strength and even my faith
I have begun in small measure
To trust God for all these things

It used to be enough that He make the plans
And I fulfill them (such arrogance)
This no longer seems wise
It is His minute-to-minute presence I crave
I am learning this after being malnourished
By my other lesser foods
They were indeed -- bread alone
And I have gone hungry for too long
While my father's servants eat better than I

I have tried and failed
I have run and grown weary
Perhaps it was a necessary lesson
But now... I will walk with Him
As Adam did in the Garden
Slow and peaceful in the cool Edenic morn
Not at the Northern Virginia pace
But with patient timeless urgency born of faith

God has blessed me with much sight lately
So much so that I do not feel
Compelled to complete His sentence for Him
Or to break the silence with my ignorance
I am content (most of the time)
To walk with Him, and not run ahead

I am discovering the best thing I can do is
Watch, listen and expect great things
Because He knows, watches, waits
And bids me give in larger measure
The thing I cling to most... that is me!
And, He promises,
The return will be great

©1998 Hudson Russell Davis 4/15/98

"A man's heart deviseth his way; but the Lord directeth his steps." (Proverbs 16:9)

Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank You for Your patience with me. You know my heart and know my fears; sometimes they prevent me from running with leaps and bounds in faith; but You are willing to lead me, step by step along Your path. My knees tremble and my heart pounds; but I know that if I stretch my faith as far as I can reach, You will make up the difference. I need never worry I will fall short. Amen.

Kimberley Dubard <kimberley.dubard@mci.com>
Arlington, Virginia, USA

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